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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?